Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Gift or curse!
When I was a kid, I always used to think that is it an offence to take a birth in a female gender? There was a reason behind this thinking. I always saw my mother doing sacrifices for the sake of healthy family atmosphere. I saw my cousin elder sisters losing chances of further studies away from hometown as their brother’s higher studied were more important for the parents. It was a height for me when I saw my doctor brother-in law’s parents demanded money (as society calls it by the name of -Dowry) for their son’s marriage.
I asked my mother that is it a fine that the parents have to pay for giving birth to a girl child? My mother who herself is a teacher just smiled and answered, “Never be ashamed of being a girl, my dear. God has given the strength and special power to us. So be proud of it.” That day I decided that I will never let my self esteem down just for being a girl.
My parents felt always proud for being parents of two daughters. But the society has always been felt sorry for my parents as they don’t have a son. I don’t understand why people still think like this? The outside world is developing at the speed of light and we are not ready to open our eyes and change our mentalities! When I saw my elder cousin sisters crying for the reason of dowry, at that moment I decided that either I am not going marry at all or I will marry that guy who will not demand anything from my father.
I told my decision to my parents and again my mother told me something. She said, “It’s good that you want to change the mentality of our society. But you cannot change the thousand years old tradition, alone. Remember my dear, only few people think like you. People may break your expectations. So be prepared.” I still remember my mother’s words. And now it’s my time to face these things. I really get confused when my would be hubby reacts like an 18th century’s orthodox male chauvinist. At times he is very understanding and sometimes he dominates me just because I am a girl. That time I feel that just because of being a girl I have to listen to the harsh words, the domination and have to forget my own identity. When I complain about this, people tell me to be silent and be patient and learn to accept male domination. Otherwise my relation with my husband will come to an end. According to the society, when you are born as a female, then you are destined to face this. It is thumb rule that a women must always learn to swallow her insults, forget her identity and listen to what her father or brother or husband or son says and behave according to their order. Live according to their wish and forget about her self esteem, self respect and her own perceptions. Will anybody answer to my questions? Is it a punishment of being a girl? Who decided that a women must not have her own perceptions and identity in order to maintain the family atmosphere “HAPPY”? Is it a crime to born as female in 21st century too?